Pretending that I am talking to someone, to someone who cares. To a friend whom I can trust. To tell my stories and issues... To feel loved to feel needed with someone in need. To just be next to each other, even in silence but in our thoughts with the same state with the same frequency .To someone I can see a part of myself and opposite too. To be with someone in good and in bad days as forever . To tell all the nice things evenly and sparingly . To see more beyond the edge of this word with no feel of scare nor sad. To feel connected and trusted. To be in the right direction and right speed with the right person. To do or not to do or be or not to be is not the issue with you.
But you doesn't exist and it's just me and it. It is my number one and only one. I have been dreaming life of dreamer who can be happy by himself.
So I made you to be by my side. To reappear suddenly when I am in need. In need of speaking of my issues and sins. You be there for me forever and you never leave me as you are part of me and my life. Just please I beg you to get me into right path of my life. If I manage do so let me know so I won't be bouncing back . I will always tell u my deepest secrets and I will celebrate even tiny things in my life. But only with you as you are the only one I have. I've be only looking for brighter colours and use them to make every day as art to my life.
I am in need of more of you at this time so please bare with me till it passes by. I won't be loosing my life for a tiny lust. And I rather be fighting it back. You know how many times I was deep down at the bottom line of not being able to get it all back again. Still I'm here but loop is nevertheless cutting trashing me into pieces . Tired of pretending tired of being tired. I want you to be my new drug my get out from this reality. To spend with most of my bad or good times. To relax and enjoy together . To ditch out all killer thought's and horrible memories from our life forever and come to the end of my obsessions... You will help me you will listen you be my company you be my world. I made you I love you and I gonna keep you forever and I will never ever gonna let you go. But just let me do so for a while now as I can't keep on goin with with my mind being too clear . Demoons are still aroud and I'm afraid that witout my shield I would get scared away. I know it's hard to understand as it's eating me from inside but it's keeping me feeling that joy of life. Joy of being alive joy of doing just ordinary things in ordinary situations . But it's does hurt me and it's taking some parts of me away. Leaving me with more scars and holes half time . So I do and I will and I might not but I try my best to do so. Plsease stay with me and give me support I need. I know that I am bad at making decisions but when you get a chance to push me off it and take my hand and take me to neverland to be never ever and forever just us and bright green fields filled with new beggings and new endings as well with sun kissing our pretty cheeks. Don't push me away if I don't say. Be timeless and wait. Time is just matter of trying to count what can't be explained. What have been done can't be undone. Past life's are gone. We are here listening what future might bring. But it's the same ring that we heard before over and over again. With no clear mind making unclear decisions. Going around in circles with no clue what is going on. Too blind to see that we are the problem with the same issue carrying on and still don't know what to do. Even I'm so sick of it and can't come back on the same track with Different music might be on but the rhythm is kept the same. Infuence is the humans worst enemy as we copy without thinking and thinking that idea was born made new......
Epilogue : be careful what u wish for. Your state of mind attack different vibes. Never take a world on someone only coz some fateful silly thing. Karma is real. U can bring a spell on anyone or u intentionally. Be careful karma is like mirror but not just reflect it double triple yours sins. When is time just pray for good. Amy good u like any religion and holy spirit. I'm ONE OF AWAKENED PEOPLE. it's hard to cope with this but I did so. Many spells I didn't realy wanted to and not it'd gonna take long to rurn them into dust.