BIG CHANGE // preistotu upozornujem: v anglictine:) //
I was just sitting on chair in my room looking at horrible mess of papers lying on my desk and was almost falling asleep over that boring homework when I heard some voices in kitchen downstairs. I quickly found out that loud voice coming to my ears belongs to my mom and I could also hear how dad yells at her. They were arguing again. In last months it became a rule to yell at each other and to act strange – for me they seemed like two people sleeping in one room, but with totally different lives without knowing each other. They didn’t talk to each other in normal way, and their dialogues often started with “hello” and ended with mom’s answer: “no” on dad’s question if there’s something eat-able for the dinner… I tried to imagine our life before… before my dad had an affair with his secretary…
When I was a little girl, we had a wonderful family, for many people it was like a dream. We would go on trips every weekend and dad would spend as much time as possible with me and my mom. He would tell that I and my mom are his biggest loves and his life is as beautiful as he always wanted it to be just because of seeing us. Even if I was sitting in my room, I could still see him and my mom both lying in the grass on one of our weekend trips right in front of me. Around us, there was beautiful nature and mountains were protecting us from the dark clouds as parents protect their babies… I smelled the cool moisture in the fresh mountain air, but also the smell of grass, flowers and wet soil. I wanted to touch it all and feel the drops of water on my fingers, because just the sight of it wasn’t enough. In my mouth I had a taste of my favorite sweet cakes baked by mom. I heard birds singing, marching of ants all mixed with my, my mom’s and dad’s laugh.
Suddenly, the vision in my mind changed. I stayed alone in the huge and quiet forest. I could hear how everything around me changed after each my step. I had never known that my steps were as loud as the steps of some giant. I started to walk slower and I was trying to catch all those interesting sounds around me, the sound of the leaves moving in gentle breeze and also the calming sound of the small waves on the dark lake which were hitting rocks lying in darkness covered by fog. I came closer to the lake and I could see that it was as deep and dark as midnight, the water in it was as cold as ice and surface of it was as calm as the quiet breeze which I could feel touching my hair. Suddenly everything around me changed. I felt cold air in my lungs and I couldn’t take another breathe. I started to tremble from cold, but also from fear. That calm lake changed into sharp cliff and the light breeze into a strong wind which was blowing leaves down from the threes and throwing them into darkness. I was afraid of falling there and wanted to escape… I was scared of the shadow coming over me, but I couldn’t move because my legs didn’t follow my orders…
“Jane, please come to the kitchen!” I heard my mother voice. I opened my eyes and quickly ran downstairs, because I didn’t want to be alone anymore so my visions would not come again. From the hallway I could see mom and dad sitting beside the dining table. They were looking at me in way that something important happened. They asked me to sit down and I wasn’t able to answer them because I was still terrified of what happened in my mind. “We have something very important to tell you. We, your mom and I decided that we are going to get a divorce.” I felt cold air in my lungs and I couldn’t take another breath. I wanted to escape, but I wasn’t able to, I was stuck at on place and couldn’t move…
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