I stepped aside for a little while.
I thougt about my failures
and watched the world go by.
Is there any point in this?
Didn’t I just try enough?
Isn’t this just pointlessness
that’s just too hard and tough?
With no positive feedback,
with no real results to see
I’m starting to feel tired
and in fear to flee.
I’m afraid to look into my eyes,
I’m afraid to see my face.
Others keep up their pace,
while I build my own disgrace.
I look like others do,
but I am not like them.
While I may be look-alike,
it’s not who I am.
Deeper in my skin,
in depth of my eyes
a helpless soul resides,
for uncoming assistance cries.
Is there no help left for me?
Or do I have to wait some time?
Maybe there is no help coming
and I’m decieving myself with a pack of lies.
Self-deception is my curse.
I try again and again
always finding an excuse.
But that just makes things worse.
To what extent I have to try?
How longer will I in tears fry?
I’m crawling on my knees.
I’m running dry.
And if there are no excuses left
What will happen then?
A major failure?
In front of myself I’m disgrace of man.
If this is not ending soon,
if there are more blows to come,
And if there’s no one on the moon,
and won’t take some,
I will be done.
If there’s anyone hearing me,
I beg you, help me soon.
I’m not able to continue.
At least not this way.
I still believe in thee!
I wonder how this ends.
In this I’ve no help.
No higher force, nor friends.
I’m all by myself in this case.
For now it feels like endless race.
For something I can’t reach,
for having someone to embrace.
I won’t last for long,
I’m in need of help.
Don’t let me just die trying!
Don’t leave me here to lie and yelp!
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